If Life Is A Rose, I'm Definitely Feeling Its Thorns

You know, I never asked to have high goals or a heavy work load or a sport that requires tons of effort. I hear, "Life is hard so make what you can with it," all the time yet I wonder if I can make it what I want. What do I want to do? I want to rock out with my guitar and have at least one large-audience concert experience, I want to go far and wide with my tennis, and I want to learn a bit of dancing so I don't embarrass myself the next time I'm forced onto the dance floor. However, I see a few blockades in my path.
The biggest one is my parents. The typical, stereotype Asian parents. It's either med school or law school. "A" is normal. "B" is unacceptable. "C" or below means no cellphone/car/computer plus a shouty lecture... or death if you're lucky. They run you through the, "We came to America to pay for your education," argument and run you through the biggest guilt trips of your life. They expect nothing but achievement and rail on your for every little failure. They make you wait for the luxuries in life like driving and not let you get your license or car until you are well past 16. They expect you to be like them: lifeless, work-a-holics, and socially tight-fisted. Finally, they explode for no reason sometimes, pulling you into the crossfire, watching you shield yourself from the angry words raining down on your poor head. Hah, yeah right. I call myself lucky actually. If my parents were like that, I'd never survive. I love my parents but sometimes they just can't seem to accept what I want to do like guitar for instance.
Second is my stupid SAT score. 1270 reading and math score... Not enough to go to my college of choice. I'd like to try my luck on the ACT but that's all about speed. I suck at speed reading. Why couldn't they just give me ten sections of math? I would do so much better. If I don't get into my college of choice, I would go on a Friday the 13th killing spree with a tennis racquet and a ski mask. Gah, college apps... it feels like impending doom... FOR YOU!
Third, my inability to motivate myself. I can be a hard worker when I want to. It's in my blood. I'm Asian. Duh. But that's the problem. "When I want to." The problem is, I almost never want to work hard these days. Laziness is dangerous, people. Even though I clearly have to study for my SAT's and I clearly have to finish my summer homework, I always drift back to the computer, the T.V., or the bed. I wish someone named June (that's also a guy and has the same last name) would take my test for me, get a 2400, and come home to make me a sandwich. Seriously, life would be so much easier. But alas, I must perservere because it would really suck if I let go.



Thanks for reading this boring post. Join us tomorrow for a more lively post written by Caroline!

-June