Alexithymia

On the outside, you look normal, even happy. No one thinks anything is out of the ordinary. No one stops to question or ponder. They think that everything is ok. But I know the truth.

Hiding in the shadows, you pretend that no one notices whats really going on. You mask the pain. You live a lie, acting as if nothing is wrong. But when you look closer, thats the root of your problem. I can see it in your eyes: the doubt, the insecurity, the sadness. Bottled up inside, they ravage your soul. You portray it in your actions subconsiously. The way you walk, with head down, shoulders slumped. The way you rarely speak up and voice your opinions. The way you hang back from the crowd. You cling to those close to you and let no one else in. You ostracize yourself from others, hoping that you can remain invisible. I am in your circle, one of the few that knows these things. You say to me, "God hates me". You complain of all your problems. Maybe you haven't the best of luck. I can relate, and thats why I'm trusted. But I've also changed, and thats why I can help. 

If only you could see that you're more than a list of broken hearts and shattered dreams. You are more than a fractured spine, an ex-soccer star, a D in biology. You are more than those names you were called by your "friends". You are more than your faults. You are an awesome guitar player, a great blocker in ultimate frisbee, and an interesting person. Your personality, your character is beginning to reveal itself, even if only to those close to you. Why can't you accept what you are and not live by what you aren't? Why do you keep yourself hidden from the world? If people only knew...

"with downcast eyes, there's more to living than being alive"

-Caroline