Oceans Away

Hello there, Blue Powerblogger here!

So this past Valentine's Day, I made a revelation of sorts. I am in one of those "if we were a movie" type relationships. but not in the way one would think...

I met, errr, "Tom", as we shall call him, a month ago yesterday. He's everything I could ever ask for in a guy-smart, attractive, musical, christian, kind, thoughtful, and slightly mysterious. I knew from the very moment I met him that he would play an important role in my life.

Well, that role has been defined. We were both signed to a record deal-together. This is pretty much a death sentence for any sort of relationship that we could ever be in. So I've told myself that instead of focusing on him from a "potentially dateable" stance, I am going to focus instead on becoming one of his closest friends. I feel like this would be best for us in the long run, because it won't jeopardize our career together. The only problem is, I just can't convince myself to not like him. I can't even consider liking another guy now that I've met him. He's just so perfect in every way, and he's someone that I could even see myself marrying. 

The thing is, he's really flirty towards me, too, but I can sense that he still likes his ex-girlfriend. Basically, they dated during the fall, she dumped him, and she's beginning to move on, but I think that he still has feelings for her. So lucky me, I get to standby and watch as he tries to win her back. I get to hear about how sucky his Valentine's day was because he didn't get to hang out with her. I get to see him attempt to flirt with her at church. It puts me in a weird position, because I know I shouldn't like him like that and therefore, I shouldn't be jealous, but I am. And it kinda sucks. 

Thus begins my role as "the best friend, but not the girlfriend". I have to sit back and listen to him talk about how much he still likes her and how he's concerned for her along with all his other problems. And I have to pretend like it doesn't matter to me.

But maybe that's the best. Things will only work out in the long run if we are best friends as opposed to boyfriend and girlfriend. And that's the beginning of my "if we were a movie" relationship. Maybe in the end, he will realize that he really does love me, and we can live happily ever after and it won't affect our careers so we can have both success and love!

A girl can dream, can't she?

And in theme with this note, I have an awesome lyric from the song "Oceans Away" by Chasing Victory. "Love is so direct, and you're exactly what I've waited for". The next line is a bit more foreboding, though-"There's a ghost; he's ready to slit your throat"

-Caroline