Because We Weren't Quite Lazy Enough Before

I had to write about one invention the world would be better off without. This is what I came up with.

It was from NPR that I first heard of the motorized ice cream cone. Apparently, for under ten dollars you can buy the luxury of never having to turn your wrist again, not in order to eat ice cream at least. Sure it is ridiculous, but it seems to be harmless too. You might be tempted to believe that another useless invention never hurt anyone, but you would be sadly mistaken. For this invention is one of the many spreading the epidemic of laziness. A crippling, mind (and body) numbing sort of laziness that persuades the afflicted of the uselessness of their own wrists. A kind of laziness that can only lead to obesity and existential crises, for how could you find usefulness in the world around you if you only see uselessness in your own body. 

It is a wonder when it becomes too taxing on an individual to preform the amount of work that would require two calories to in order to consume two hundred. The mechanized ice cream cone may physically only be a clunky piece of plastic that comes in assorted (yet ironically unappetizing) colors, but it represents so much more. Namely, a damnation of any bodily process that cannot be replicated by a slightly less effective and slightly more expensive mechanized process. Perhaps it is not so much that the world would be better off without this invention, but that a better world would never have invented it.

-Viv