Tuesday, June 17, 2008

decisions, decisions

I am so sorry about todays post. I should warn you now. And now I have.

I am so tired I feel like I'm going to die. My mom is yelling at me for something I didn't do and I have a huge decision to make.

What is worse?

Having a drawn out time where everything is only alright.

OR

Having a little while where your heart is so crushed that you don't remember that it's even there and then things could get better.

Right now I'm not sure. I had decided but now I am doubting. I hate feeling like this. I hate that my mom is making me think this. I hate that it's somewhat true. I hate that it's my decision.

Geez as I'm typing this it seems like none of you will understand it or care. I don't blame you. It's cool. I will love you anyways. But as I sit here writing my post, there really isn't any other option for me. I am overcome with this feeling and it's all I can think. If you have complaints about the post I think that they should go to this feeling and not me. Personally I am a little caught up in having my heart broken and I don't know if I would notice that much.

I am sick too.

I can't tell which feelings are mine and which I was told to feel. I just hope that I don't mess this up because it's the best thing that has ever happened to me.

-Lacey

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i think some people know how you feel, it may be totally different situations but the feeling is the same. i'm going through a lot of things right now too: heartbreak, pressure, confusion. and i feel a little like i'm just going to fall apart. hope is a hard thing to find, but one day it'll jut be there waiting for you. i promise. you don't know me but i hope you don't just blow this off. i haven't found hope for my situation yet, but it always comes back. i don't know the decision you have to make but i promise whatever you decide things will be all right.

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