An Insight of My Thoughts 2

Weeks have been flying by like birds and I've noticed a lot of interesting things. The first thing I noticed was that our blog posts were getting shorter and shorter and they seemed to have less and less thought with less and less punctuality. Looks like school has been taking its toll. But in that same school is where all the interesting subjects lie.

Before school even starts I see many things that catch my attention. Like those couples kissing in the open, not giving even a single glance at what's happening outside of their self-made dream world. I pity them. Such love, such passion, yet imminent to fail in the end. It makes me wonder what love really is as defined by the ever changing society today. Who knows? Maybe it's all about the "fireworks" they claim to feel or the ever rigorous sex life or maybe they just want to have someone near them just for the sake of having a secure warmth of a person or even just wanting a trophy of some sort. Whatever society says to do, I choose no. I'll go with the definition I choose to follow. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

"Today is a test day," was what I thought as I passed the couple. My heart was racing but I told myself to calm down. A nervous mind tends to give me mistakes. I walk in, put my bag down, put my book down and put my head down. I drift and see the necessary equations float across my consciousness. Then I look up and look around. I feel so many emotions pressing down on me: fear, cockiness, hopelessness, confidence, but over everything else, anticipation. A few days later, we get our scores and there is a balance of joy and anger. I choose to look at the angry. The angry are so lost. I see it as a person surrounded by a ring of fire, the fire fed by a figure that is so obscure that you cannot even make out the shadow. Such an intense flame is emitted that sometimes when a person tries to get near they only get burned. I see anger as a useless emotion put in a glass case marked "EMERGENCY" in the back room. It takes away all rational thinking, it emits a dark atmosphere, it is disapproved by many and it is, again, so useless. Whatever happens, it will always be in the glass case in backroom for me and I hope I never have to use it.

As the day is done, I crawl into the bed and review the wonderful day that has been given to me. Whether a dramatic situation fell on a friend or a horrible grade was received, I still view it as wonderful. Every second that ticks by counts down the day I die and thankfully it wasn't today. And so I look to tomorrow as a gift because there is no real guarantee you or I will make it there. Living life to the fullest is what I was told to do yet I stray so far from it. Maybe I'll appreciate it more as I keep living and existing for the people and friends I come in contact with everyday. Maybe I'll impact someone's life, maybe I'll be able to look back at my scattered memories and laugh, maybe I'll be surrounded by my family in the end, who knows? Life is but a vapor in the wind... As I close my eyes, I just say," Thank you."

-June