to put it simply

So I know this post is supposed to be really great. At least that is what Ryan told you.

Last week I had completely forgotten about posting when he mentioned it to me. So I pawned off my responsibility on him. Which was horrible because I realized that I actually had a lot to say last week. Oh, the irony. I also noticed that for like, the first time ever I think, Brianna gave me an actual introduction. And I didn't even post. So I've felt bad about that for a whole week.

Sometimes it is hard not to compare two things that are placed side by side. When you do though, you may realize something you didn't want to.

As much as I feel like giving up on my future. . . I realize that now I need to study for the SATs more than ever. So if anyone wants to. . .

I kind of have a major in mind. First time ever! I'm sure it'll change but look how official this sounds:
I am going to major in Law and minor in Criminology and Psychology.
Pretty good, huh?

I actually watched a whole half of a football game. I actually know what the defense is and how many yards you are supposed to get within four downs. I know who is playing in the super-bowl. It's kind of awesome.

Last week I gave up chocolate. For a whole year. I can have it again on January 15, 2010 at 5:52 PM. I have always dealt with my problems by eating chocolate so this will be interesting. Now I might have to actually talk things out and deal with the people involved. I hate that. I hate confrontation and even serious, negative conversation. I like to keep things light and fluffy. I can talk about the weather all day long, but I don't like to talk about real things.

And I don't like to feel vulnerable. I don't like feeling like at any moment my circumstances can change completely. I feel like that and it's awful and it's wonderful, but mostly it's awful.

I like looking out for myself. Because I know I can trust me. I can keep myself safe. It's like I am trying to fly but when I finally jump and I leave that comfort zone that I am so fond of, I can't tell if anyone will catch me when I fall.

And then at times I feel like it doesn't matter if I fall and break my leg, the time I am up there is worth it. I should just stop analyzing and stop worrying and have a little faith. It's those times when I feel like I can take on the world.

-Lacey